Spiritual Attitude: Hoh Woojung
If I let it, the world is always ready to rush toward me and feel overwhelming. Even the air feels thick with dust, and the world keeps changing fast, almost as if it is catching up to the future once imagined by old science fiction films. Sometimes it feels like I was born too late, into a world already filled to the brim. I cannot even remember when technology first began to overwhelm me. And that feeling is not limited to technology alone.
Information pours in everyday without pause. The social issues that grow out of it are too many to list. They force us to recognize others again and again, and to realize how different our thoughts can be, and how hard that gap is to close. In truth, life can become complicated without invoking large social problems at all. Conflicts with family or close friends alone are enough to quietly make life feel tangled.
Among the problems piled up in disorder, none are easily resolved. Like the falling blocks in a game of Tetris; simple at first but suddenly stressful depending on their speed, timing, or the careless placement of just one or two pieces, problems change their face based on how and when they arrive. Unresolved issues never truly disappear. They quietly stack up somewhere, and when they finally make themselves known, it is often too late to deal with them.
I sometimes wonder where my own limit lies. How much I can bear before reaching the breaking point. Then I catch myself worrying that I may already be close to it. The saying “I can barely take care of myself” always seems painfully accurate.
An overwhelming world stands right in front of me. It feels so fragile that it would not be surprising if it collapsed at any moment, like a circus acrobat balancing on the edge. I try to understand why the world feels so unstable, but I cannot even fully grasp my own emotions, and everything slips into confusion. So I ask myself what I can possibly do in this absurd situation. If there is nothing I can do, then at least I ask what kind of attitude I can take.
The world I see is limited to the path of my own life, and just as eating makes me full, what I can understand is always limited. A world made of both experience and the unknown remains mysterious forever. Standing on the endlessly spinning ground, I focus on the brief moment. Even if it is only a sandcastle that will soon fade, I choose to build the present. Not yesterday, which will not return, nor tomorrow, which I cannot hold, but today. Overwhelming as it is, I choose to face it.